Lonliness

This summer I was doing my MBA internship and at the same time was preparing for the Chartered Financial Analyst Level 1 exam and hence was staying at one of our family friend’s house. Out there in Mumbai at Mahalaxmi such a huge house in a posh area only a few can afford and being a guest at a Judge’s house hospitality was good. However I learnt a few things staying at their place and shall like to write about the same sometimes later and shall concentrate on something else....
During the same phase I got myself tested for Jaundice on recommendations of my doctor and it turned out to be positive to my despair...... Alas I had to leave my summers mid-way (although I completed it for 6 weeks it was only 75% of the desired project time)
I booked my tickets for Nagpur and flew on Indigo to my hometown in a Jaundiced condition. Back home the scene was different, when Mumbai was going great at 34 degree Celsius Nagpur was sizzling at 45 to 47 degree Celsius. When I landed at Nagpur my parents were waiting at the airport and were eagerly waiting for me. As soon as I reached I could see the sense of relief on my father’s face, contentment of mother and reached home. Initially I liked the status of being cared and being looked after and soon days passed and to my mind I could just see TARGET 6 that is 6th of June my D-Day because I had to appear for my CFA exam and I wanted nobody to disturb me and just felt the beauty of being lonely and to oneself... The felling was that nobody should come and meet me and nobody should disturb me I was missing the Independence that I enjoy at Mumbai and was feeling a bit caught up between the devil and the dead sea.... Soon the days passed and I again flew back to Mumbai to appear for my exam and felt happy about the same. As soon as I reached Nagpur the loneliness of different kind struck me. I had practically nothing to do I was going about goal-less. Trying to read books and watch T.V. I thought I could do some value addition however I was and am facing a total failure.
Loneliness which I wanted desperately just a fortnight back I am just really averse to the same and I hate it now. The fact that I am staying at my home for a long time (a month) and have no work to do makes the life miserable. All others have work to do for them and you are left lonely. At the same time I realize that you remain a mere guest back home and everything is foreign which your own year back was. I now am getting a strange sensation that nothing is mine and I do not possess anything.
And soon the date of departure was nearing and I knew I am going to get my independence of being all by myself the tide in my mind turned and hence I realized the living in a sheltered atmosphere is much better as compared to being by oneself coz mothers tender care and fathers support is something you can never get anywhere else in this world.
THANKS PAPA and MAMA
Tumchach
Abhishek

the nostalgic moments at nagpur station...

11th June 2009
it will be recorded as a very important day in my life... not only in my life but also as a change in the life of a few people living in and around 337, Shankar Nagar ,Nagpur .....
for i abhishek Gurunath Modak... will now for ever be a guest and not a permanant resident at that address... altough my loyalties for that place remain intact and shall be delared as "Going Concern" but for all practical purposes i may not actually be staying there for as long as i did till this historic date.

a lot of events were slated that day... got up early in the morning and then just rushed through the daily chores before i could go in for my scheduled visit... i began with a visit to the zadgoankars... and then viraj accompanied me to the dongres and through my few most imporant daily routines... yes visit at the mandirs....
Firstly i visited the gajanan maharaj mandir at ambazari and then to DURGA MATA MANDIR at pratap nagar... place from where i drew such a solace that i actually cannot express in words..

Then dropped viraj and soon reached back home to my packing schedules.... was trying to be very bold and stone hearted.. but deep inside my heart was full of ache... it was shouting ...
got through all my work and sent a sms which read
" Log kehte hai Abhi(shek) na jao chodakar ke dil abhi bhara nai
Main kehta hu... Ha yahi rasta hai tera tune ab jana hai ....
Laksha to har hal main pana hai....
Bye nagpur ....
C u soon"
and sent it to practically entire friendlist.... soon phone was ringing as if it had never been put on the ringing mode ... didnt stop at all
then another good friend of mine D.Sudarshan.. 6 feet 7 inches tall ... came to c me off...
shared a few good words with him and he too gave me some words of consolation... and left
Incidently when i dropped Viraj back home he expressed only one thing to me .. Modak station pe rona mat...

Got all my packing done and my attachment with my rooms on ground floor was personified..
I could feel even all the non living object speaking to me... my cupboard my table chair that made noise... dustbin ... and what not....

Aai called me up for lunch ... had my lunch and went on to meet my near and dear ones... those who had seen me grow form a todler to .. what i m right now....
Shared some good feelings and was also told some words of wisdom by them.....

soon returned back home and off to bathroom ... i tried real hard but broke down in the bathroom... cried my heart out.. soon out to show that m alright..
went on to the ground floor to change .. again my lachryamatory glands could not hold on... this time i weeped for the last time.....

above there was an abnormal silence.. aai baba aniket and sunita kaku.. all were making refrences very thoughtfully and just before i had tea sunita kaku started cryin but somehow i managed....

then came Sanjeev kaka... and ananta dada and another good friend of mine appurva...
all agreed at once to accompany me at the railway station... oh my my i just cud not hold on after all the salutations and ashirwads... we left in the Verna .. sanjeev kaka papa mysely aniket and sunita kaku... on appurvas vehicle was aai....

that journey to railway station was so heavy.... i just cant tell man....
soon i discovered ppl in red shirts and white towel shouting Cooli.. i modestly said " Nai m capeble and no need of anyboday.." that day Vidharba express was on platform no 5..... met Subhash kaka midway assited and helped me and baba to carry the luggage...

Reached the platform... and saw a number of my friends were to reach to c me off.... soon 10 to 15 of my friends had come there... my situation was something toatlly different....
i could just not understand to whom to talk to and whom to say that m going to come back soon...

as the clock over my head ticked fast i thought if ... if .. if i could stop this clock from running at speed of light.... alas.. those were just my hallucinations ... soon the whistle blew...
I just shaked my hands right hand in mamas fist tightly held and left in sunita kakus hand
aniket standing just close to me... secreatly all of us were feeling very heavy.... sorrow of being parted and parting forever was making my blood freeze... i walked up into the train and ...
friends waving their hands... b bye abhishek best luck.....
I really want to relive that emotion......

i can only say.... " Aane wala pal ... Jane wala hai .... Aane wala pal Jane wala hai .... Ho Sake to ismain Jindagi bitalo... Pal ye bhi jane wala hai...... "

now m destined to b in mumbai ... may b

hey this is not a very special post but just putting forth my opinion or what i can say its nothing but speculating my nxt two years ..... at mumbai.....
Just thinking a bit one can seriously think mumbai is dream land ..... maya nagri hai ye... u shall find it as a haven if u njoi food if u r a film buff its the right place to be in if u r inclined towards politics its the power centre... raj uddhav bal sharad narayan .... and list does not end here... if u want to b associated with art and literature its the most suitable place...

where do i find myself which role suits me the most... ????
a question worth million dollers.....
well where on the large mumbai spectrum i tend to b shall determine the activities m going to do during my nxt two circles around the globe.......
at this point with a fort night to move to mumbai i put forth the question ....
just Speculate what shall b my activites in mumbai....
xpecting some innovative new answers. ?????

The sunny night of 2008

here is one of the finest moment I have lived in my life.... in the runup to that moment is shall take you through the journey that was really interesting and bengan on 14 Dec 2007.....

it was the time just when i was done with my 5th semester universtiy exams..... expecting of enjoying the holidays my father asked me to join a 10 day workshop on aptitude development and as soon as it ended I was to join PT. ( place where I learnt so much even in the coming year) Soon the workshop ended and I got the mark of appriciation as "The male best delegate" ....
"I am sooo so happy that I cannot express in words" - these were my usual words till my life changed drastically on 9th Feb......
So the college started somewhere in the month of January with a lot of bunks.... and then the title which i wore was being fluttered a lot everywhere and then was our annual fest on 26 Jan and it ended on Feb with a bang ... ( in opinion of some people it was okish type nothing to be so happy about it .. and I was one of them) In the mean time our Training and Placement had issued a fatwa kind of notice as it expected everybody to be ready for the battle that lay ahead.. Yes it was the first company in our college The TATA Consultancy Services or TCS and everybody irrespective of their branch was adviced to appear for the selection trial...
In the mean time PT was polishing my basic skills in aptitude and creating a synergious attitude in me.......... The D Day came that was the 8th of Feb any everybody were charged on the otherhand I was very calm and not excited as others were ... Everybody were asked to report at the Auditorium of our College and not only friends from YCCE but also from other local colleges were present.... Soon there was a buzz around and the Team from TCS reached then there was a presentation that moved everybody... it focused on saying that every Indian is a Tata Customer all his day is Tata centric it was a bit exagerated but was the theme of presentation and then was the question answer session where a bit of Bakwas from different students went on ... notedly I really thought Avishek K. Prakash shall come up with a question and he did so.....
Then the names were declared who were eligible and had to queue up for the apti. names were according to alphabetical order nd i was in the first list itself.........
Most of my friends were revising whatever they had studied and there came a big funda from one of my good friend he literally mugged up a few answers and said "sala kuch bhi pooche main ye hi jawab doonga".... everybody was laughing where as I and another friend of mine Abhishek Nagpurkar left the hall for my test.....
It was an online test and was a typical apti. with a bit of questions here and there.... I sat through the room for full time and was very calm .... this was because I never had built a hype around the company.... as soon as I came out there were numerous friends of mine who literally pounced on me " Kya poocha kay vicharla ..... " and we were asked to sit in one of the hall beside.....
Just discussing around when next batches were going inside for there apti. a person in Red shirt zoomed with result in his hand.... all of them just ran as if he held a sugar ball and we were ants and noteably i was the slowest of the lot........ to my surprise my name in the selected candidates for the interview sprung up in first few and i was like " thik hai age dekhte hai " and soon abhishek and ambarish nd some other friends of mine who were with me got through .....
They asked us to submit the C.V. and everybody produced it in an instant as if they were getting their offer letter signed .... I signaled to abhishek " yar mere paas to C.V hai hi nai kya kare " he said as them I did have that courage t0 ask and they gave me time for the same.... Soon I and abhishek rushed to a nearby Internet Cafe ..... in the mean time rest of my friends were appearing for apti..... to everybodys surprise all matter in my C.V were topod ( copied ) from nagpurkars C.V except personal details ..... even the objective of joining the company.....
It was evening by then and everybody was selected except a few of my friends ... I then submitted the form and my C.V and we were told that interiview were scheduled the next day ...
i did go home happy and thinking ... happy coz i ws selected and thinking that should i join....
then back home there was a lot of brainstorming................
Next day everybody was in their full vigour and i was stand alone an off white shirt and an old pant.... with a borrowed jhankar red tie and and old phati purani file....... my friends are so supportive that they asked me not to wear the tie and arrange for the new file..... I did so and went in for technical interview..........
It was simply great when i had expected a volley of technical questions i got a few simple question related to mech. engg. and i got through then there was one question that i think tested my vision and determination to excell........ the person asked me " If u r rejected and u establish urslf as a mech. engg what shall u do ? " I said in my characteristic style " I shall Design a REVERSE GEAR for a bike.........." both the panalist burst into a laughter and askd me to leave with a modest salutation i left ........ result followed me ........ i had to soon appear for my HR interview... even that was a great experience..... shall narrate it sometime later....

Then came the evening I had left back home by then and had dinner as results were to be declared late in the night... I reached college library where 58 students were seated with a pin drop silence.... soon there was a buzz that only few were selected ... some said all were selected....
To my surprise by now my mind said " Modak kahihi zala tari tula select zalach pahije " and then people from TCS entered with our college teachers and princi.

There was a bit of bakwas..... followed by declaration of results where we were to be handed over the letters........ it begen with a list of students and first amongst my friends was Shri. Rohan Kekatpure (srk) then it was myself .... i burst into tears as my name was declared and soon i thought time was still and not moving but we were waitng fr VIRAJ and Vaibhav.... our wait ended and both of them got selected......... then i thought that This was the finest moment of life........... Thanks TATA thanks YCCE thanks MY PARENTs and last but not the least my best friends..............

Had a sleedless night with only phonecalls to attend...........

DUTY not a Right

Politics in India is something which gains lot of public attention ... when general elections are round the corner entire country slips into the election mode... one finds all people discussing about it be it professionals at joggers park or elderly people at laughter clubs or young charming guys and gals at chat corners or labourers during chai halt or grandmothers infront of mandirs or rickshaw pullers at popular squares or even the maid servants in thier mid day conferences.....
What is proved is a simple fact that be it a dirty game ( as per people with white collered jobs ) politics plays a special role in ones life. Even when there is no election round the corner people are seen cursing the politicians as people trying to bulge their bellys with money....
Then there is a large section of society which says " we want young politicians and want them to me fast and tech savvy " I have a simple question for all of them ever thought of Dr.Manmohan Singh , after being operated he is back to office and is working in full swing ... Think of Shri.L.K.Advani he sleeps only for 4 hours a day and is 81 years old , not an easy task at all.....
When thousands of young people spend their Valuable time in theatres, discs, in parks with their beloved ones cant spare one day for making their voter ID cards. They constantly curse politicians for not fulfilling thier commitments but they themselves do not exercise their right to vote. .. today people should understand its not our right but a duty to vote.... THINK ! ! THINK !!!
Those who feel that Western World is abode should know that they are the ones who are aware about their right to vote and do so.... atleast replicte this for the west ...
well in my personal opinion its the duty of every citizen who is eligible to vote to register his or her vote..... please do so this time ........
JAI HIND !!!!

Beginner.....

Karmanye va dhi karasthe ma phaleshu kadachana.........

are the words of Shree Krishna to Arjuna as everybody knows......... well the idea of quoting here is part that everybody shall question ??? It is just to tell that this is my first post on my blog so I am writing the essence of my existance at the blogger... I dont have any fruit to be achieved at this place its just to put down whatever I feel... Its simply the place where I write whatever that comes to my heart........